Monday Morning

The first few hours of Monday are a blur to me. Was it the Hornito Tequila shots, washed down by a couple of Sol beers? Did the realization that I’m back on my beloved finally sink in? Did Kodi slip something in my water glass?

I’ll start where I remember things clearly - - the coffeepot. I brought a can of Folgers with me – seeing how the Mexican coffee (and I don’t mean instant Nescafe) doesn’t seem to be strong enough to keep my bowels moving smoothly. The best part of waking up is sex…but they couldn’t make that into a decent commercial (…the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup…commercial early 70’s).

The coffeemaker looked decent enough – 12 cupper – enough to get the blood flowing, the bowels moving and the day started. The coffee filters there were a bit large but I twisted it here and there and made it fit. Made the pot as I do at home and waited to smell the brew. And waited – and waited. What’s that brown stuff running down the walls? Coffee. Apparently no one has ever used this thing and it decided to backwash. ALL OVER THE PLACE. From that moment on, when I made coffee, I made a filter with two folded napkins. Did the trick. While the second pot was brewing I thought I’d go make up the bed, then realized I don’t know how. Vacationers Disease (yeah, the dreaded V.D.). Forget how to do everything you do at home – we all suffer from it occasionally.

While walking from Big Shell to Baby shell, I glanced at The Heap looking forlorn in the front of the house. I place a call to Apache to see if he can rent us a cart a day early. Voice Mail. Oh well, I’ll catch him after we get back this afternoon. Can’t have the New Newbies starting their trip with a Bad Golf Cart Memory – oh but shall I eat those words.

Tried to gulp two cups of coffee. Tasted like napkins, so I decided to drink Horny Mothers instead – Hornito Tequila with a twist of Mango Juice and sugar, “yesh” I know it’s early but being a lush on vacation has no time barriers. Countless cigarettes, downloading pics and e-mailing home, chattering merrily with Kodi about the day’s plans, guilt knocks at the door – we let him linger no more than two seconds. Why the sudden pang of guilt? We’ve had a two day head start on this island… Mexico City nightmare, golf cart adventure, Sunday Ribs that we said we would TRY to save for them, notice I said try….both Shell Houses to ourselves, not to mention the beer & tequila consumed. But I can’t wait for Nady and Jackie to land around 1PM today – wow – we can officially become the Eight Syllables in a few hours but until then, Kodi & I, the two crazed ones will go shopping. Now that I do feel guilty about – we said we wouldn’t go to Hortencia’s without them, but what they don’t know at the moment won’t kill them. And that is the plan right now except we hear this melodious voice say “Hola”. I’m still in my jammies – do all men on Isla venture to a lady’s abode while she is still in sleepwear? Yesh.

The hunk o’ man waits at the front door of The Big Shell. “Are you Catz?” Kodi answers no – and later tells me she wishes she had my name when good looking men come a knockin’. I hitch up my gown and boldly walk to the door. I’ve never seen Apache, only e-mailing for two months. I expected an older man, like Colorado Jim, the Heap’s owner but instead dimples, long black hair and a captivating smile greeted me. Oh blush these cheeks of mine. Apache stands 5’ 5”, broadly built, laughing eyes behind the sunglasses and a steady, firm handshake. Apache’s dad owns Indios Beach Club while Apache runs the golf cart end of the business. Told us after 4PM, when the day trippers go home, Indios Beach is a pleasant place to spend an afternoon and watch the sunset. We add that trinket to our ever growing list of things to do.

We invite him in (daylight so he’s not a vampire) and we make arrangements to have the cart delivered to us tomorrow mid-morning if we don’t like the Heap anymore. We‘d briefly explained the situation we had with the other golf cart to which he asks, " Which Jim?" Well, how many are on this island? The Jim in question is the same Jim we’ve rented from. There’s bad blood between them that won’t be known until Friday. I liked Apache for that – didn’t bad mouth an enemy. Page torn from his book and into mine. Apache said he had another engagement and must be heading off but was pleased to meet us. After he left, I ever so daintily fainted on the couch. Good looking men with manners do that to me.

Eleven-ish of the clock - -

Told Apache over the internet that I would to wear my pink outfit on Tuesday when we met so he would know who I was. Met him in my night gown instead so I will wear the pink today. Not my favorite color but it does a body good! I must remember to wear a bra on vacation - keep the "girls" off my knees when I sit down!

Quick prayer and laying of hands on The Heap and we are off to visit Hortencia. Wave in Carmita and Big Jim’s direction and enjoy the morning breezes. Fluffy clouds are rolling in – Apache said it looked like it would rain tomorrow. Really?

The Heap is behaving so far. A High-Five to the Guardian of Golf Carts!! Before we know it I am pulling up to the Welcome Sign of The Municipal Market (thanks to you too Mr. Javier Rojo Gomez) his name is on the sign so we assumed he was saying welcome to us. We park not far from the Launcherias and walk towards Hortencia’s. Kodi is enthralled with the sights, smells and colors of this part of town. Not touristy at all she comments as her eyes take in everything. We can smell fresh tortillas & cantaloupe from the market and someone is cooking up a storm at Alexis and Geovanny’s. Making us hungry but had decided not to eat until we picked up our ladies. Around the corner, I point out the Convention Center to the far left, the “Birthing Center” in front of us and up to the right will be Hortencia.

I spy a pair of tiny feet below a sewing machine, two toddlers running through all the colorful fabric and dresses. In my sing-song voice - “Momma Hortencia?” “Hola?” replies Hortencia – then I come around the dresses and her eyes light up!! “Catzee – oh Mommie – Catzee!!!” She’s just a tad happy to see me (ha ha) What a spontaneous reception we both gave each other – tears and hugs, kisses and more tears. Once we broke apart, I introduced Kodi who received a hearty welcome as well. I looked at the toddlers, Valescka was only 6 months old when I saw her last and Jonathan was just beginning to walk. These are two of her four grandchildren.

Hortencia asks about Bob and Aelias. This is just a Girls Trip this time. Hortencia smiles and jokingly slaps my hand. Hortencia shows Kodi around the shop and explains how she goes about making dresses to fit. I lost Kodi for a while. She was fondling the fabric – I let her have a moment. Kodi ordered a couple of dresses while I opted out for a blue-green number. Had to have something for St. Patty’s Day on Wednesday. I did have my eye on fabric for another dress but I knew we’d be visiting here at least three more times before we left the island. Then Kodi discovered the jewelry table. Lost her again. I talked with Hortencia about her daughters(they are fine, both with two children) and the grandchildren (2 boys. 2 girls), where was Papa, her husband (fishing for dinner) and how was business these days(starting to pick up). Seems we were there a few minutes when we had been at Hortencia’s an hour and five minutes. We’d better get going. We would pick up our outfits same time tomorrow and I let Hortencia know that I’d be bringing two more with me. She gave that precious smile of hers; kissed us goodbye and we’re off.

Back towards the market, I wanted to see if the Little Old Man Who Likes to Pinch Booty’s would be sitting at his favorite spot. We entered the market from the back, the tortilla shop was in full swing but most of the stalls were empty. We took this same photo of the Virgin Mary inside the market, cruised around for a bano and discovered you had to pay to use it. 50pesos. Kodi thought it was five dollars – no honey fifty cents. When you gotta go, price is no object so we found the Fruit Guy with the Bano Key. He is also the guy who has the sweetest Mangos on the island. While Kodi was, uh, taking care of business, I bought two Mangos to munch on. The Horny Mother’s were starting to do a number on my equilibrium and I needed something solid to balance out. Kodi came out of the bano and I nearly pee’d my pants myself. The look on her face was beyond price!

Kodi: No toilet seat – no toilet paper – hasn’t been cleaned in ions. Thank GOD for shoes!

Catz: You get what you pay for (busting a gut laughing and wiping away tears)!

Kodi: Well THAT was Another Island Adventure!!!!!!

Out the door of the market and look who’s there! The Little Old Man Who Likes to Pinch Booty’s is sitting in his favorite spot, grinning his one “toothy” grin and I give him a wide berth. He looks at me, I look at him and he looks and grins like he remembered my booty. I’ve been pinched by him FOUR times during my visits– can’t begrudge him one of life’s pleasures. But I did this time – shoved Kodi in his direction!! Kodi was looking at handbags, made a purchase and we moved on looking for 4 x $10 tee shirts. We found them at the end of the stall where we spent forty five minutes looking for the right shirts for the right people. I purchased an Isla Mujeres Fishing Hat which I plan to have people sign. Eight Bucks – not a bad price. Kodi bought at least nine shirts, bargain hunter that woman!

We’d better get going Girlfriend. We gotta find a place to park, make a phone call to see if they’ve landed and a ferry to catch. While Kodi was locking down her purchases, I tried to reach Nady. They were in Cancun looking for their luggage and should be at the ferry by 2PM. I was trying to tell her that we would meet them on the Cancun side but lost the connection. So I hunt and peck a text - discovered later that she couldn’t make or receive text messages. By then it was too late(insert melodramatic music here).

We had to circle around twice on the Main Drag before we could find a place to park. Day Trippers OUT IN FORCE (coming to a theater near you!). Ended up a few feet from Jax and had to walk, yes walk to the ferry. Wouldn’t have been so bad if Manners had been distributed on the ferry to the Day Trippers. Push, shove, let me stop in the middle of the sidewalk and hold up traffic. That was the way it was going and coming from the ferry. No wonder we like to arrive early morning or late evening – no one pushing you around.

Now, if Nady & Jackie remembered from my last phone call state side on Friday afternoon, they were to meet us on the Cancun side and wait for us so we could all ride together heading towards Isla Mujeres. I wanted to get their photos, their reactions and more photos of them , all of us really and revel at their astonishment of seeing that water for the first time. So Kodi and I pay (gulp) $28US for round trip tickets. I plan to pay for Nady & Jackie’s passage across – they might still be in shock over the Mexico City Airport if they had an airport day like we had. So I am still sending text messages and phone calls – nothing. Let’s wait and see if they are on this ferry that is unloading. No – not there and it’s getting late. We board the 2PM , pick out seats on the left side and wait for the engines to roar into life and take us across to Nady and Jackie. Gee, I hope they fall in love with Isla. I hope they can swim if they don’t .